As we approach Jan 28/14, which is Bell's let's talk "Mental Health Awareness day", I wonder how many people suffer in silence, too afraid to speak up because of feared consequences. Perhaps they think they will be misunderstood, avoided like a plague, loose their job, etc. There are many, many reasons one can think of to keep a secret all to ones self. It's called self protection, but just what is the long term affect of stuffing ones feelings for the purpose of self protection? Eventually the lid will blow, perhaps it will come out in anger, a person being withdrawn, a person becoming addicted to what might feel good to ease the pain, etc.
How many of us are willing to look within and peal back the onion and really be who we are and experience Emotionally Healthy Spirituality?
While we often look at what we consider as more seriously depressed or anxious people as the only ones who may need help, we all have an emotional and mental makeup that can be improved upon. Just like an athlete may hone their physical muscles, we would do well to hone our mental and emotional self as well. The person who is not depressed or bi polar, but is frequently angry, is also in need of taking an inner look. Why are they responding this way? What caused this anger? One can Band-Aid fix the issue and temporarily control it, but to really fix a problem you have to get to the root of the problem. You may call it root cause analysis.
In my own experience, I am just now understanding who I am emotionally and how to feel in a more healthy way. I can look back and see how I allowed circumstances to shape my naturally more serious and sensitive personality, in ways that were not always healthy. I would say that I always coped and in fact I feel that based on my resume of experiences, by the grace of God I coped reasonably well. Too often though I did not take the time to feel the freedom to express my feelings and unknowingly they slowly built over time to a volcanic affect point.
I felt lost and didn't know why. I felt angry, anxious and easily irritated, but wasn't sure how to fix it. Being "more spiritual" didn't have a long lasting positive impact. I needed to feel the freedom to express my feelings, to mourn what had been lost, to feel frustrated and even angry and then move on and make positive choices. I had the moving on part reasonably well perfected, but I am naturally a stuffer and didn't realize how much I had stuffed. Little irritants piled up like boxes stacked to the ceiling. I am one who always wants to be the nice guy so it is very hard for me to tell someone how I really feel. It is easier for me to down play the situation. My personality traits combined with my experiences have left me with a lot of growth opportunities that I have just begun to explore over the last few years.
I have spent time seeking professional help and have done lots of reading. I had hit a wall and my methods were no longer working. figuratively speaking the ladder I was using was too short to climb the wall or the hammer I had was to small to even put a dent in it.
I had suffered in silence and needed to change. Don't get me wrong, I didn't sit around and mope, I coped as I knew how, by stubbornly moving on and bulldozing the walls down that presented themselves. It left me tired and exhausted though because I spent little time on my own mental health. I always thought I would get by, but such is life that you never know what is around the corner. Like a boxer woozy and with wobbly knees, the knockout punch for me was being diagnosed with cancer.
While you may not be seriously depressed or anxious, we all fall short and that means we all have areas where we can improve in our understanding of ourselves and our quest to be more emotionally healthy.
There is a myth out there that as Christians we should not be too emotional, that we should be stoic and always strong. That is in stark contrast to King David's writings in the Psalms or some of the prayers of Jesus (Mark 14:32-42). One can show emotion and still be obedient to our saviour as opposed to how some Christians may think. Some believe that showing emotion is a sign of weakness or not trusting God enough. I would suggest it is a healthy part of the process and journey to becoming more obedient and God reliant. It is a critical step. Jesus expressed his feelings in Mark 14:32-42, but was still obedient to the point of death.
A few good reads are;
Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero
Hitting the Wall by David S Payne
Run The Amazing Race by David S Payne
Mud and the MasterPeice by John Burke
Your Were Made for More by Jim Cymbala
Enemies of the Heart by Andy Stanley
Finding Peace by Charles Stanley
Inside Out by Larry Crabb
Disappointment with God by Phillip Yancey
Soul Detox by Craig Groeschel
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