If we are truly Gods and dead to self why do we do what we do? Its an interesting question to ponder. As I look at my own life I am reminded constantly of Gods goodness and provision. Still I find myself trying to be self sufficient, worrying through things when he already knows the outcome. It seems so silly and yet it can be so hard to let go and let God, and while so hard, it can be so freeing to give up control.
Do my every day actions reflect a life surrendered to God? Sadly they do not. There is always that tension between trusting God and thinking, well he did give me a brain, he must expect me to use it. It can be a slippery slope, because yes I think he does expect us to use our God given abilities, but when is that point where we say here it is Lord. How often do we go beyond that point and he gently reminds us that he has our best interests and his purposes in mind and that we only need to trust him.
Another aspect of a life surrendered is that we would want his vision, we would want to be part of his purposes. In every little circumstance we would want to be pleasing to him. That could mean being thankful in a time of blessing, it could mean trusting him during times of uncertainty and on an every day basis it could mean reminding our selves that in every situation we are to aspire to be Christ like. How do I know that the annoying situation placed before me is not an opportunity to show his love by forgiving, showing mercy, love or any of the other attributes of our savior. Its human nature to look at annoying circumstances as just that, but just maybe they are a great opportunity to show Christ rather than to be annoyed, frustrated and even in a mud slinging mode, "saying why did that idiot do that to me".
The saying "what would Jesus do" is really one we need to keep at the forefront of our everyday thoughts. He has a plan, he has purposes and it would seem to me that showing his love in the smallest and possibly annoying aspects of life is what he has asked us to do.
We tend to look for big ministry opportunities when he simple wants us to exude him in all aspects of our life.
I need to remind myself that instead of putting someone down for an act of stupidity, instead of being angry, jealous, etc., each and every circumstance I face is an opportunity to show his love.
Sunday 16 November 2014
Sunday 2 November 2014
Elizabeth health - Oct 2014
Everything seemed to be ticking along quite well and then came Saturday Oct 25. First it was a friend texting, telling me about another friend who was experiencing sudden mental health challenges. Then it was my dear wife Elizabeth experiencing stomach pain. This is not new for her, it is something she has experienced several times a year since her gull bladder was removed in 2011.
Her pain escalated to very severe and then vomiting several times, much the same as she experienced in the spring of 2014. As we did in the spring, we arranged for an ambulance and she was admitted to what seems like her second home, Grand River Hospital. As per usual when they admit her, they run tests right away and get her hooked up to IV, all in preparation to be able to deal with the worst, another potential bacterial infection. Tests indicated a high white cell count indicating she was fighting something. An x-ray did not show anything and a CT scan showed abnormal (more fluids in pelvic area than normal). Nothing was conclusive, yet there were also to many concerning signs.
Again to be cautious, she was kept for several days and released Tuesday evening Oct 27 with the doctor simply implying, "we don't really know what's going on". If this was an isolated case, it would be easy to move on, but for us, unfortunately these hospital visits have become a fairly routine occurrence since my wife's battle with flesh eating disease in 2005 (2009, 2010 x 2, 2011, 2012, 2013 & 2014 x2). Many of her ailments since 2005, you could say are secondary issues due to that 2 month roller coaster ride in 2005 (see http://woundedbutvictorious.blogspot.ca/p/how-does-one-deal-with-multiple-close.html.)
While we rest in the fact that our God knows best and is our provider, the frequency of these events, the speed at which bacterial diseases can advance and the limited medical answers leave us in a cloud of uncertainty and anxiety. Our kids have been a part of this journey for their whole lives and to see the impact on them is painful. While we know God has great plans for them and these experiences will be a big part of shaping them, to see the uncertainty that they have to deal with at such a tender age is heartbreaking.
Our values tell us to plug on and trust God with the many unknowns. At the same time a raging storm of frustration, anxiety, spiritual warfare and anger brews as Satan works nonstop to rip us out of Gods hand and to destroy our family. At times my head space feels tormented.
We rest in God's promises knowing that he will prevail and that in the end we will live in eternity with him, an eternity that Satan, sickness, sorrow and death will have NO part of. We soldier on because our God is there to carry us when the quick sand is up to our ears. We march on knowing that because of our sin we live in a world of heart ache, but that because of our choice to accept his free gift (John 3:16), we will have eternal life with him, free from heartache.
Aaron Keyes - Sovereign Over Us
Alan Jackson - Blessed Assurance
Her pain escalated to very severe and then vomiting several times, much the same as she experienced in the spring of 2014. As we did in the spring, we arranged for an ambulance and she was admitted to what seems like her second home, Grand River Hospital. As per usual when they admit her, they run tests right away and get her hooked up to IV, all in preparation to be able to deal with the worst, another potential bacterial infection. Tests indicated a high white cell count indicating she was fighting something. An x-ray did not show anything and a CT scan showed abnormal (more fluids in pelvic area than normal). Nothing was conclusive, yet there were also to many concerning signs.
Again to be cautious, she was kept for several days and released Tuesday evening Oct 27 with the doctor simply implying, "we don't really know what's going on". If this was an isolated case, it would be easy to move on, but for us, unfortunately these hospital visits have become a fairly routine occurrence since my wife's battle with flesh eating disease in 2005 (2009, 2010 x 2, 2011, 2012, 2013 & 2014 x2). Many of her ailments since 2005, you could say are secondary issues due to that 2 month roller coaster ride in 2005 (see http://woundedbutvictorious.blogspot.ca/p/how-does-one-deal-with-multiple-close.html.)
While we rest in the fact that our God knows best and is our provider, the frequency of these events, the speed at which bacterial diseases can advance and the limited medical answers leave us in a cloud of uncertainty and anxiety. Our kids have been a part of this journey for their whole lives and to see the impact on them is painful. While we know God has great plans for them and these experiences will be a big part of shaping them, to see the uncertainty that they have to deal with at such a tender age is heartbreaking.
Our values tell us to plug on and trust God with the many unknowns. At the same time a raging storm of frustration, anxiety, spiritual warfare and anger brews as Satan works nonstop to rip us out of Gods hand and to destroy our family. At times my head space feels tormented.
We rest in God's promises knowing that he will prevail and that in the end we will live in eternity with him, an eternity that Satan, sickness, sorrow and death will have NO part of. We soldier on because our God is there to carry us when the quick sand is up to our ears. We march on knowing that because of our sin we live in a world of heart ache, but that because of our choice to accept his free gift (John 3:16), we will have eternal life with him, free from heartache.
Aaron Keyes - Sovereign Over Us
Alan Jackson - Blessed Assurance
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