Is it wrong for a Christian to struggle emotionally?
Hurts are an interesting thing. Physical hurts often build up over time, resulting in even professional athletes retiring from them. We all feel the aches and pains as we get older.
Emotional hurts are the same, but much more complex. Only you know exactly how you feel inside, it may be happy, sad, frustrated, angry and so on. Similar to physical hurts, emotional hurts compile over time. For some it results in depression or even suicide. For others it results in life changing events like a marriage break up. Others turn to booze, drugs, sex or other people. What is typically the root cause, it could be that a fellow human being let you down, uncontrollable circumstances such as health issues, etc.
We live in a society that requires us to preform at a high level. We are graded accordingly by our marks in school, by our job status and pay. My findings are that society does not know what do do with a person who is struggling emotionally. They quickly assume based on your physical appearance that all is well. You are expected to preform. Medics quickly turn to drugs and in some cases they are absolutely required to remedy depression. In other cases they may be a band aid or temporary solution. I am fortunate to have a good doctor who has always encouraged me to combine exercise and therapy with anti depressants.
Churches have in the past given the impression to people struggling with depression, that if only they looked to God, their struggles would be over. Interestingly the book of Psalms in the bible has many chapters detailing a person's deep emotional struggles. That person, who is believed to have been King David, was also called a man after God's own heart.
Psalm 5 Listen to my words, Lord, consider my lament. Hear my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray......................
So is it wrong to struggle emotionally, it would seem not, in fact it seems normal.
So why does society put on such a plastic mask, with the expectation that we are all holly wood personalities without issue? Is there not a beauty in people being real and helping each other out as the bible suggests? Life is lonely if we cannot support each other as real people. It can be challenging to feel understood and accepted when you feel that your challenges are all your own. However if we exude God's love, if we allow him to shine through us, there can be understanding because God is understanding. This can lead to openness, to caring and to community.
Saturday, 6 October 2012
What forms my identity and powers my attitudes?
The engine that drives you forms your identity and powers your attitudes. I have
been challenged with this in my life. What drives me each day. If the engine
that drives me is self image, perhaps the vehicle (how it presents) is how I
dress, what I drive, who I hang with, etc. If the engine is money, perhaps the
vehicle is career. If the engine is Christ perhaps the vehicle is love, servant
hood and friendship shown or at least attempted in all that I do.
In my life I haven't all ways allowed Christ to be the engine. What am I doing to ensure this? I find that just like the marriage relationship it takes work and time. I need to spend time with God by reading his word and praying.
In my life I haven't all ways allowed Christ to be the engine. What am I doing to ensure this? I find that just like the marriage relationship it takes work and time. I need to spend time with God by reading his word and praying.
Friday, 5 October 2012
How are you?
Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
This verse has meant a great deal to me. I am so thankful for my wife who has been such a rock for me. Recently she gave me a bunch of q cards with bible verses on them. Among them is the verse above. When I am struggling I read them and they encourage me on.
How are you? It's become a North American greeting, but do we really want to know how a person is doing as we breeze by them quickly spitting out how are you? We all have people in our lives that sincerely want to know how we are, others that use it simply as a greeting and others that want to play doctor or shrink. I have been encouraged by the people around me who truly care, take the time to listen, challenge me lovingly and commit to praying. We can never know what a person is going through, but we can understand if we are willing to take the time to do so.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
This verse has meant a great deal to me. I am so thankful for my wife who has been such a rock for me. Recently she gave me a bunch of q cards with bible verses on them. Among them is the verse above. When I am struggling I read them and they encourage me on.
How are you? It's become a North American greeting, but do we really want to know how a person is doing as we breeze by them quickly spitting out how are you? We all have people in our lives that sincerely want to know how we are, others that use it simply as a greeting and others that want to play doctor or shrink. I have been encouraged by the people around me who truly care, take the time to listen, challenge me lovingly and commit to praying. We can never know what a person is going through, but we can understand if we are willing to take the time to do so.
Thursday, 4 October 2012
The holy spirit's been walking around in my heart ...
The holy spirit's been walking around in my heart a lot this year with a purpose. He has stubbed his toe on a steel box containing my hurts, he has a bruised shin from smacking it on a large bucket containing my earthly clingings. Slowly but surely I am getting the point though, God wants my whole heart, he wants me to trust him daily with all things. He wants my attitudes given to him so that my motives are pure and God honouring. I feel so week and vulnerable at times. Satan is aware of God's desire to work good in me and he is aware of my weakened state......he continues to prowl around like a roaring
lion looking for someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8)
Wednesday, 3 October 2012
Oct 3, 2012
Tomorrow our son will celebrate another birthday. What a blessing he has been. He has had to experience so much at a young age, but he is someone to admire. He loves his Jesus too. We can learn so much from our little people.
I continue to look to God for healing over my insecurities, hyper sensitivity, mild depression, obessive compulsive nature and anxiety......I know he will provide....just not always sure what vehicle he will use to provide
Tuesday, 2 October 2012
Being open and honest
Oct 2
I started a new position at head office, one that will allow me more flexibility as I heal emotionally.
Tonight we went out with friends and had a great time of sharing each others highlights and challenges...........we discussed why it is that we Christians are not more open and willing to lean on each other. We agreed that many times non Christians are more open and more friendly. Why is that...does Satan medal in our lives that much. Does he make the important unimportant.
I am challenged ever more to be real and for my faith to be real even in the midst of my hurt.
My wife and I have chosen to be open with our kids concerning our health and things we face, but in a kid friendly way. I am always amazed at how much they understand. My son will comment, so how is your cancer dad, or it must of been hard when your dad died or I need mommy to stay healthy till I am grown up. It has created open communication and they have been a pillar of strength to us.
I started a new position at head office, one that will allow me more flexibility as I heal emotionally.
Tonight we went out with friends and had a great time of sharing each others highlights and challenges...........we discussed why it is that we Christians are not more open and willing to lean on each other. We agreed that many times non Christians are more open and more friendly. Why is that...does Satan medal in our lives that much. Does he make the important unimportant.
I am challenged ever more to be real and for my faith to be real even in the midst of my hurt.
My wife and I have chosen to be open with our kids concerning our health and things we face, but in a kid friendly way. I am always amazed at how much they understand. My son will comment, so how is your cancer dad, or it must of been hard when your dad died or I need mommy to stay healthy till I am grown up. It has created open communication and they have been a pillar of strength to us.
Tuesday, 25 September 2012
Our journey as at Sept 25, 2012 (Scott)
Our journey continued, Sept 25, 2012
I am about to complete my 2nd round of the maintenance program chemotherapy tomorrow. Based on their check today for oversized lymph nodes and their review of my blood work, the doctors say all is good. I am still getting used to sensations I feel that are different, like getting warm sooner, tingling in my hands, more frequent headaches, etc. Just like many others includi
ng my awesome wife, I have an infirmity that reminds me of my need to rely on God daily………there is no one else and nothing else that can meet my daily need. Still though I am human and fall into the trap of self-sufficiency as I have this past year.
My ever supportive and patient wife and I have often wondered, what does God want us to learn? What does he want from us? Where is he taking us? Are we running like Jonah did? No we haven’t been swallowed by a whale, but it feels sometimes like things stink about the same as they would in the belly of a whale. Do we have to be in the desert for 40 years like Moses did before we are led to the Promised Land? Do we need to lose our sight like Paul did before we submit to God? Or perhaps like Job we will never know the purpose of life’s challenges.
Elizabeth and I think we have been willing to go where God wants, but this past year we have learned that God is never done working on us. Satan’s relentless attack on our thoughts has also shown us our many areas of weakness. We are seeing more and more the importance of our whole lives, all of our thoughts being surrendered to God each and every day. We all know that religious speak right, I have been guilty of saying all the right spiritual phrases, but not always being as real as I should. A friend pointed out to me that she knows a young lady who fell into a similar trap, she had lost her mom and to the public was saying all the right things and being a model Christian. Behind the scenes she was slitting her wrists. We are programmed by church and society, to say the right things, but do we always know what we are saying, is it authentic and from the heart or trained speak? If it is authentic it will withstand an attack like the foundation built on solid ground. Mine hasn’t always been authentic. While I have not made attempts on my life, I absolutely have put on a front at times and I have asked God why he doesn’t just take me home. I realized then that I was basically slapping God in the face and questioning his power to carry me.
I love the Lord and even though this past year has really hurt, I am thankful that God continues to work on my faith and that he has revealed areas of my life that require work. Through his leading I am seeing a phyciatrist who is working with me on my sleep issues, bitterness from my past experiences, lack of confidence, my hyper sensitivity and my medication. It’s a painful process and it can be embarrassing to be weak, but it’s real, it’s supported biblically, it’s more peaceful and it wears better than a mask.
“But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.”
A work in progress, Scott
I am about to complete my 2nd round of the maintenance program chemotherapy tomorrow. Based on their check today for oversized lymph nodes and their review of my blood work, the doctors say all is good. I am still getting used to sensations I feel that are different, like getting warm sooner, tingling in my hands, more frequent headaches, etc. Just like many others includi
ng my awesome wife, I have an infirmity that reminds me of my need to rely on God daily………there is no one else and nothing else that can meet my daily need. Still though I am human and fall into the trap of self-sufficiency as I have this past year.
My ever supportive and patient wife and I have often wondered, what does God want us to learn? What does he want from us? Where is he taking us? Are we running like Jonah did? No we haven’t been swallowed by a whale, but it feels sometimes like things stink about the same as they would in the belly of a whale. Do we have to be in the desert for 40 years like Moses did before we are led to the Promised Land? Do we need to lose our sight like Paul did before we submit to God? Or perhaps like Job we will never know the purpose of life’s challenges.
Elizabeth and I think we have been willing to go where God wants, but this past year we have learned that God is never done working on us. Satan’s relentless attack on our thoughts has also shown us our many areas of weakness. We are seeing more and more the importance of our whole lives, all of our thoughts being surrendered to God each and every day. We all know that religious speak right, I have been guilty of saying all the right spiritual phrases, but not always being as real as I should. A friend pointed out to me that she knows a young lady who fell into a similar trap, she had lost her mom and to the public was saying all the right things and being a model Christian. Behind the scenes she was slitting her wrists. We are programmed by church and society, to say the right things, but do we always know what we are saying, is it authentic and from the heart or trained speak? If it is authentic it will withstand an attack like the foundation built on solid ground. Mine hasn’t always been authentic. While I have not made attempts on my life, I absolutely have put on a front at times and I have asked God why he doesn’t just take me home. I realized then that I was basically slapping God in the face and questioning his power to carry me.
I love the Lord and even though this past year has really hurt, I am thankful that God continues to work on my faith and that he has revealed areas of my life that require work. Through his leading I am seeing a phyciatrist who is working with me on my sleep issues, bitterness from my past experiences, lack of confidence, my hyper sensitivity and my medication. It’s a painful process and it can be embarrassing to be weak, but it’s real, it’s supported biblically, it’s more peaceful and it wears better than a mask.
“But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.”
A work in progress, Scott
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