why do we worry

Why do we worry? It is because we are in control of our life versus God. I am certainly a worrier. Overtime I have learned to take my worries to God sooner. It's not easy when we wonder about our families and loved ones futures. It's not easy when life is in upheaval. Prayer - I thank you that I can trust you in all things, help me to cast my worries and fears at your feet. Help me to seek you first. Amen

“Mathew 6:25-34 Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^[a]?

²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

slowing life down

Sometimes it's important to slow life down, to take stock, regroup and re-energize. Many do this by taking vacation. Sometimes that's not an option. How do we slow life down in the midst of chaotic health challenges? What will people think if I seek more solitude. It's interesting to me that Jesus sets the example of solitude and prayer "Luke 5:16 But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." This is the most proactive Solitude we can take, to simplify life and come before our Lord and savior. Prayer - Lord please help me to seek you and to come before you to lay my burdens at your feet. Help me to be proactive and make quality time with you. Amen

Corrupt governments

Greed, misuse of power are words that come to mind when we consider some of our world leaders. It is simply ugly what people in this world are subjected to. In Canada we have had it good still. I don't know what it's like to feel the threat of a Hitler like my grandparents did on my father's side. This impacted my dad too as they lost their home in Hungary, lived for a bit in Germany where they were not wanted and eventually came to Canada. Our physical well-being is not a threat right now but perhaps our rights and economy are. Mr Trump has seen fit to threaten tariffs again as he did during his first reign in power and now he also feels we should become the 51st state. How real the latter is I don't know. The reality is he keeps saying it and even during the recent four nations hockey tournament he saw fit to mention it in his speech to the American team. Our economy is already in dissmay with the price of things being ridiculous, let alone 25% tariffs being a threat. Who does he think he is to swing his power and make threats to various countries in the world? What right does he have? What is his purpose? We have become used to the Canadian way and have no real interest in being Americanized. That is not to say we lack respect for Americans or their way of life. We are simply patriotic to our way of life and the things we have become accustomed to. So as Christians what are we to do when we see misuse of power. Too often we stand pat. Our biggest weapon in all things is prayer and we are urged to pray for our leaders. Prayer is so often seen as a you mean that's all we can do kind of thing. But hey when we are talking to the King of Kings and putting our petitions to him, it's not a last resort small thing. It's a big deal to talk to the king, be real with him, and explain our petitions. He wants to know them from us even though he already knows them. He wants to know our heart from our lips so let's do as he asks and pray for our leaders."1 Timothy 2:1-4 I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people—  for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.  This is good, and pleases God our Savior,  who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth."

Wisdom comes from the Lord

"Proverbs 2:6a For the Lord gives wisdom".  "Proverbs 16:16 How much better to get wisdom than gold, to get insight rather than silver!" It would seem by God's word that wisdom comes from God and that it is more precious then gold. The Bible talks about asking for wisdom being a very good thing. King Solomon was rewarded for asking for wisdom. Is it as simple as asking or are there other ways to get wisdom. Being in relationship with God I believe is the key. That seems obvious perhaps, but many of us find spending time with God a challenge especially when things are going well. Being in true relationship means being in his word and talking to him. It means doing life with him and in surrender to him. These things are often grown by difficult experiences. Those experiences when we are in fellowship with God throughout them also gain us insight and wisdom that we could not gain otherwise. Going through the Refiner's Fire seems to be the process for most of us to develop a closer relationship and grow in insight and wisdom. What a painful and yet rewarding process. Perhaps one of the reasons we are to try to look through God's eyes and find joy in the midst of trial. Prayer - Lord as I wallow in my own trials, I thank you for your patience as you mold me and make me.

spite house or grace house

Do I live in the spite house or grace house? Sad to say, too many times I have dwelt in the spite house holding a grudge against Christian brothers and sisters. It's easy to do because Satan is working overtime to accomplish it. He wants even the slightest of grievances to become massive. He wants our service towards our Lord to be disrupted and uses any means he can. Max Lucado writes " forgiveness has fits and starts, good days and bad. Anger intermingled with love. Irregular mercy. We make progress only to make a wrong turn. Step forward and fall back. But this is okay. When it comes to forgiveness all of us are beginners. No one owns a secret formula. As long as you are trying to forgive, you are forgiven. It's when you no longer try that bitterness sets in". How true Max's words are. “The bible has this to say

 Ephesians 4:26-27 In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, ²⁷ and do not give the devil a foothold". Prayer - search my heart oh God. Show me where I need to have a hard change and forgive . Grant me a heart of forgiveness and a willingness to reconcile.

how technology has ruled me

We are all wired differently. I marvel at people who have a cell phone and they are able to manage it in such a way that checking it seems like a very low priority. It's not constantly in their hands. Perhaps it's harder for us administrative types. It feeds right into how we are wired. We like to be organized and on top of things and it's a contagious tool that helps us do that. For my kids it's just part of their lives, they grew up with it and think no different than to rely on it for all aspects of their lives. Their social dependence on it is huge. I have wondered to myself for a while now, what is of more importance to me, to start my day by checking my accounts or start it listening to the voice of God. Most of the time lately, I do it in the wrong order. Sadly it is really telling of what voice is more important to me. When life gets ugly, this pattern tends to reverse because there is nothing like Gods soothing voice. Prayer - father help me to prioritize you. Amen

God does not waste disappointment

God does not waste disappointment, he wants to use it. Lord do you care, do you see what's going on down here, why are you letting this happen in my life. Isn't it true that many of us ask those questions. I remember being a candidate for two different job promotions at a place I worked. I was declined for both. Interestingly my friend who got the job gave me a book about doors closing. If he wouldn't have been from such a gentle soul I may have taken it as a slap in the face. The reality is we are often guided through disappointment to the next step. God had other things in mind and soon presented me with a business opportunity. This was only after I wrestled through the disappointment and tried to give it over to God. Funny fact is that sometime later, in fact a few years later, one of the hiring bosses told me I would have been the better selection. That was comforting for sure and reassuring. The whole opening and closing of doors in our lives kind of reminds me of the story of when God put a angel in the road to detour Balaam. I wonder how many times there are there angels in our path placed there by God to redirect us. We might see it as disappointment at first but later see God's design. Prayer - Lord please work out your design and our lives, amen

God gives you your platform

We think we choose it all on our own but God gives us our platform. We make a lot of decisions on our own in this life. But as Christ followers I believe God wants us to choose him first and to allow him to be part of our choices. Been thinking about how God gives us a platform. For many of us we have platforms that we didn't choose, perhaps being a widow like my mom, health issues like my wife and I or perhaps through a process being refocused to be a pastor or missionary. Many of us thought we want to be in such a career but God refocused us to be in the career he chose for us. I think of the disciples and how they were hand-picked and then trained. Many of the greats in the Bible were chosen and trained. There are other stories of people chosen, like Jonah and there was a process. Still other stories like King Saul who was chosen but did not stay with God. We are all given a platform and the question is what will we do with it. We will all have our down days but overall will we strive to be good stewards of what God has given us knowing that in the end we have the hope of being with him one day.

what is my heart expressing

Is my inward expression the same as my outward expression? Some scripture, Proverbs 4:23   Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Luke 6:45  A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of." Sometimes I catch myself saying something in response to a situation or person and I am like where did that come from. I am not impressed with the words that come out of my mouth. There was no love in my words. It's easy for our words to be an expression of what we feed ourselves and of how we handle circumstances in our lives. The devil wants our words to be hostile. God wants our words to be of love in every situation. Focusing on Christ and feeding ourselves well in relationship with him helps our conduct to be pleasing to him, including our speech. Prayer - Lord create in me a clean heart, help me to spend meaningful time with you, so that my outputs will represent you well. Amen

God will allow evil

God will allow evil only to the degree it brings about the very opposite of what it indends writes Timothy Keller. We see so many times in God's word how evil is allowed and God works things for good. The story of Joseph is a fine example where he even tells his brothers that their plan was meant for evil but God intended it for good. Job is another example where Satan was allowed to torment Job and God used it for good. It is basically the standard in the Bible for the handling of suffering. Life as a Christian seems like a series of mini tests and some exams. These are all meant to draw us near and grow our faith. We can choose to turn to drink, sex, drugs Etc or let God refine us. The devil tested our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ too. He was led into the desert to be tempted. He prepared with 40 days of fasting. In the end Jesus rebuked Satan and in the name of Jesus we can too. Prayer - Lord help me to put on the armor of God really prepare for the devil's schemes, to fight the fight for your own Glory. Amen

Treasures in heaven

"Mathew 6:19-21 ¹⁹ “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. ²⁰ But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. ²¹ For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." As I endure health struggles, being treated for cancer, there are lots of Deep Thoughts that enter my mind. We know that this life is temporary but we get so attached to it. While on one hand I know I will spend eternity with my Savior, I have an Earthly family that is hard to think of separating from. I know well the pain of growing up without a father as I lost mine when I was 21. I look at my kids who are around the same age and know how hard it is to forge through this life without a dad. Yet I have to trust my heavenly father's plan. As he has been with me, I know he would be with them. While their path may not be easy, he always makes a way. There are things in this world beyond family that we come to know as comfortable, our jobs, material possessions and so forth. They can easily become way too much of a priority and distract us from God's goals for our lives. Prayer - Lord thank you for giving me this life and walking with me through it. Thank you for the knowledge that you hold us in the palm of your hands. Help me Lord to be a good Steward of the things that you have given me. Amen

The harsh reality of chemotherapy

I am currently going through a chemotherapy regime for the third time since 2011. By no means do I want to paint a picture that I have had it really bad. I know there are people who have experienced far worse. I simply want to shed a light on chemotherapy. Perhaps this will help assist you in a very small way by encouraging you that you are not alone if you are going through it or perhaps by encouraging a care person. Treatment is intense and can have a dramatic impact physically and mentally. Cancer patients have a horrible disease growing inside of them. This means that likely something horrible is needed or tried to combat it. Nowadays a treatment plan includes a symptom management plan. Certainly this is an improvement over days gone by. One of the treatments I have been receiving has been nicknamed by the medical staff as the Red Devil. It enters your system literally to destroy cancer cells. To help with the multitude of potential symptoms, a person might receive the following for the first 5 days, steroids, medication to line the stomach, one or two different anti nausea meds, acid reflux and heartburn pills, constipation meds and one or two other medications as part of the treatment protocol. This is the cocktail for me this time. The medical team has been great at switching things up as needed and it is very very important for the patient to be forthcoming with their symptoms. For example after my fifth treatment, I vomited 14 times in 11 hours and ended up in the hospital to get fluids and new medication. What works initially might need to be changed. Symptoms during the first five days are typically the worst and that's why they give steroids. There can be a weird energy that comes from the steroids and then after 5 days a bit of a letdown so it is very important not to overdo it in those first 5 days. Symptoms can include the following, nausea, vomiting, heartburn, acid reflux, headaches, numbness in extremities, constipation, chemo brain, memory difficulties, challengrs thinking and recalling things, rashes, hair loss and more. Fun eh! It's during these down times, of basically looking at the ceiling, resting and sleeping where there can be time for deep reflection. It can be a time of deep spiritual searching and renewal and has been for me. It's important to go through this experience and be very open with God, ask the why questions and tell him how you feel. I am so thankful for a support system around me and for a God who deeply cares for me. Faith has been a huge part of managing through these ordeals. So for you caretakers out there, this is a big ordeal for the patient,  one like many experiences in life that cannot really be understood until it's you. Your role is critically important to try and be empathetic and gracious. The disease of cancer and the treatment can take a person to the depths of despair. Typically appetite starts to return around day 6. Day 14 to 20 start trending to normal. These are just my experiences . Hopefully they shed light in an informative way. Prayer - Lord for all those out there that are suffering, for strength, courage, stramina, grace, patience and mercy we pray. We pray for healing in the name of Jesus but according to your will. Amen

My first love

Jesus you are my first love, thanks for being patient with my wondering ways. Lyrics - My first love (by Mandisa)

 How long will You forget me?

How long will You hide Your face?
All the lies my soul has taken
My heart's at war and faith is shaken
But there once was a time when my hope was alive
Felt You near, You and I, couldn't get much closer
You would speak, I'd believe, not a doubt that I had inside

I wanna go back, to where it all began
I wanna go past, the walls that hold me in
To trust what I know, feel You so close
I can hear Your heartbeat
I wanna go back, back to my first love
You are my first love

How long will I forget You?
And how long will I pretend that You're not here?
Bring light to my eyes in my darkest places
Bring hope to my heart that can hardly take it!

I wanna go back, to where it all began
I wanna go past, the walls that hold me in
To trust what I know, feel You so close
I can hear Your heartbeat
I wanna go back, back to my first love...

I need revival
Lord, let Your fire fall
I long to feel again
The touch of Your hand
I wanna breakthrough
Help me to trust You
Jesus, restore my passion
I wanna go back, to where it all began
I wanna go past, the walls that hold me in

I wanna go back, to where it all began
I wanna go past, the walls that hold me in
To trust what I know, feel You so close
I can hear Your heartbeat
I wanna go back, back to my first love
Jesus, You are my first love
Jesus

Ok God get a move on

Okay God get a move on, isn't that how we feel so often. We have our expectations and our desires and we can't understand what the holdup is. We want to know what his plan is for our lives, for our kids lives and so on. We don't want to wait. Our kids are now in their late teens and early twenties. They are navigating the uncertainties of life and the high pressures put on young people today. It seems like people are expected to know what they want to do very early on and get in the proper stream already in high school. Society suggests that they will get the perfect education and job and be equipped for life. Reality is this is a process, how can they know at such a young age what they want to do. And then there is God's goal and mission for their life. Trusting God's Will and purpose is hard. Some verses of encouragement. "Psalm 57:2 I cry out to God Most High,
    to God who fulfills his purpose for me. Jeremiah 29:11a For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. Mathew 6:8-13 for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

⁹ “This, then, is how you should pray:

“‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
¹⁰ your kingdom come,
your will be done,
    on earth as it is in heaven.
¹¹ Give us today our daily bread.
¹² And forgive us our debts,
    as we also have forgiven our debtors.
¹³ And lead us not into temptation,
    but deliver us from the evil one.

Depression and anxiety

Prayer - Lord what do I do with my anxiety and depression. Life is simply just too overwhelming. I want to trust you with trying circumstances, but I simply don't always know how. Please help me, Amen. I find that many of us Christians are guilty of looking at the destination and not the process. We read verses that talk about giving our worries to God and they are so true. We forget though that we live in a fallen world and we are broken people and that there is a process in maturing and growing in all areas of our Christian Life including our emotions. Reading through the books of the Bible such as Jonah, the Psalms and Lamentations, clearly people had anxiety and depression in the Bible times too. Many great hymns were written out of deep despair. We need to be honest in our Humanity and yet determined to allow God to work in all aspects of our life through the refining process that takes time. Lyrics refiners fire - Purify my heart, let me be as gold

And precious silver
Purify my heart, let me be as gold
Pure gold

Refiner's fire, my heart's one desire
Is to be holy
Set apart for you Lord
I choose to be holy
Set apart for You my Master
Ready to do Your will

Purify my heart, cleanse me from within
And make me holy
Purify my heart, cleanse me from my sin
Deep within

Ready to worship
Ready to follow
Ready to do Your will