By January 2006 I was preparing to go back to work. It had been important and good to be away, but yet another step in returning to normalcy had to occur. Things were steadily improving with my girls health and well being. Although I could have been off longer I went back against her wishes. It would later become evident why I felt led to go back.
I remember having a meeting with my boss and others from work to discuss going back. They felt I had to work back slowly to full time, a wise idea, but the owner insisted that I take a reduction in compensation since in his mind I would never be the same employee. I did and it is still hard on my pride to this day. I have felt like I have had to prove myself so many times and why after something had happened that I had no control over. Had I not proven my character already? He did compliment me though by saying I had been more of a man than he to take off work to prioritise my family.
I remember on my first day back just sitting there in my boss's office balling. I could not control the emotion I felt.
I worked part time and still took my lady to her appointments. I am not sure when I resumed full time, but work had begun to get slow and their were 3 of us doing the project management role. One was let go. Had I not returned when I did to work, I would not have been needed due to work flow.
I would say that even though it was almost a year since my wife's life changing illness started, we were still in survival mode. Most normal married life had still not been recaptured. We were still constantly facing new challenges whether it be my return to work, my wife's therapy or her reacquainting with the kids. Emotionally she was still in the midst of her recovery, still very matter a fact with minimal emotion. It was hard to be separated so long from the person I knew.
For my special girls 41st birthday I planned a small party and a getaway. We enjoyed Niagra on the Lake which is one of our favourite destinations and returned for a small party to celebrate her birthday and recovery. It had been a year and still we were so very thankful but it had been a hard and draining year.
Josh Groban - You Raise Me Up
Kari Jobe - When I speak your name
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