Hard to believe that it’s been a year since I was diagnosed with cancer. Physically I feel alright. I am still acutely aware of any physical change, which can bring on worry. We would appreciate your prayers as I continue to look for emotional healing and go through the chemo treatments untul 2014. I continue to see a phyciatrist and have been working out again as well to release stress. These have helped, its a process, but God has been good and very patient as have my wife and our great kids.
Another change in our house this fall has been my special girl's decision to stop driving on the highway at night. With her limited vision it had become a challenge. This is another slice of independance taken from her and my heart aches for her as she expereinces changes such as this. She takes it all in stride though.
Something I read recently that is a great reminder to me as life feels so out of control at times "Let Go and Let God".
A while ago I was given a 4 step tool for communication and was reminded of it recently. The 4 steps are OFNR (O=observation, F=feelings, N=need and R=request).
For me the below describes how I have felt at different times over this past year as I reflect on my health and our experiences;
O is I feel beaten at times by life, am a shell of who I want to be, am easily defeated, am a perfectionist, expect too much, sometimes of self and others, dreams have been dashed
F for me is feelings of sadness, such as shame, disappointment, discouraged, hurt, lonely, tirednesssuch as burned out, exhausted, fatigued, indifferent, restless, worried such as guarded, anxious, scared, tense and suspicious and lastly madsuch as agitated, angry, bitter, disgusted, enraged, impatient and jealous
N for me is I need; accountability such as authenticity, honesty and sincerity, Integrationsuch as acceptance, clarity, community, compassion, empathy, support, respect and trust and to acknowledge endingssuch as accept limitations
R for me is, please continue to pray that my needs would be met, for emotional healing, that I would rely on Gods provisions and for peace of mind.
My good days are getting more frequent and the bad are getting less......God is good, God is Great. I love you Lord.
"Let Go and Let God".
Because He lives I can face tomorrow
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