July to August 2005
By Tuesday July 5 there was some discussion about the benefits of my lady going home. This had been raised in mid June as a possibility but at the time we felt rehab would be required before going home. My wife surprised me by how well she got around at home. To help make the decision she was given a night pass. All staples and stitches had been removed, she was now walking with only the aid of a cane. Simply amazing!
By Tuesday July 5 there was some discussion about the benefits of my lady going home. This had been raised in mid June as a possibility but at the time we felt rehab would be required before going home. My wife surprised me by how well she got around at home. To help make the decision she was given a night pass. All staples and stitches had been removed, she was now walking with only the aid of a cane. Simply amazing!
On Wednesday July 6, upon returning to the hospital the staff asked me of our decision, I said they should ask my girl. The charge nurse did and my lady responded with, I want to go home. Home it would be! After seeing the surgeon and receiving his blessing to go home, my wife was discharged late afternoon. Wow what a whirlwind we had experienced since May. She walked out of the hospital without assistance. Do you believe in miracles, we sure do!
My sister and her family had moved out over the long weekend. We will forever be grateful for their support. My mom would continue living at our house until September 2005.
My sister and her family had moved out over the long weekend. We will forever be grateful for their support. My mom would continue living at our house until September 2005.
On Thursday July 7 as promised my wife's family doctor made a house visit in the morning and challenged my wife to walk ½ way to the stop sign at the end of our street and back. True to form she went all the way to the stop sign and back. We very much appreciated this doctor who had paid many visits to the hospital. During the day, home care, an occupational therapist and home physiotherapy visited. It was great to be home, but like most of us who have experienced a hospital stay there is an adjustment period. The occupational therapist ordered risers for what seemed everything, the couch, toilet, etc. This was all to accommodate my girls leg that at that point did not bend much. Not having to get so low made things easier for her.
She was also provided with a wheel chair. We used it for our excursions, like walks at night or going to the mall. It is quite an experience, I was made aware, at least a little bit of how you are treated by "normal people". You definitely feel 2nd rate. It has made me really appreciative of my health, and has also helped me to be sensitive to those less fortunate.
By Friday July 8 my girl was doing well. Our son was reading books with her, they were enjoying each others company. Our home was a constant buzz of activity. Evening meals were still being provided and were until mid August. CCAC was tending to the wounds at that point. Clinical physiotherapy was scheduled to start July 13 at a clinic we were both familiar with and one that the surgeon worked closely with.She was also provided with a wheel chair. We used it for our excursions, like walks at night or going to the mall. It is quite an experience, I was made aware, at least a little bit of how you are treated by "normal people". You definitely feel 2nd rate. It has made me really appreciative of my health, and has also helped me to be sensitive to those less fortunate.
The thing about being unwell is everyone has an opinion on what you should do. Some were quite vocal and concerned. They hadn't seen my girl since before her illness so seeing someone with little emotion, who had lost a lot of weight and was not near her self was a huge shock. It was hard but we had to accept peoples opinions as their way of trying to help and some were very helpful. Looking back now and knowing how hurt I was, I know I did not always respond respectfully.
Sometime during this period I went to church alone, it was very emotional, I was a big cry baby.
We did not lack visitors and days were jam packed with that and my wife's care. She would nap in the afternoon. On Monday July 11 CCAC reviewed the dressings and were happy with the progress. By Tuesday July 12 physiotherapy was scheduled for 3 times/wk starting July 19, something she did until 2008. My lady took her 1st shower that day, her 1st since May. We put saran wrap around her left thigh and a bag over her right foot to keep moisture from those areas.
The rest of July through August were very busy. Home care had progressed to a point in mid August where my girls right foot was bandage free, only a small area on the left thigh and groin were seeping and required a dressing. Home care was down to visiting 3 times a week. The surgeon saw my wife August 10 and was especially happy with her countenance. He had seen her once previously since her discharge from the hospital at which time he gave her an Ophthalmologist referral. On Aug 22 we went for the Ophthalmologist appointment, he stated that the issue was blood flow and nerve related due to my poor girls cardiac arrests, that eye glass’s and medical intervention would not help, but that due to her age and health he was hopeful it would correct itself. It was too early to know what was and wasn't drug related. He too commented on my lady's lack of expression and emotion.
I remember when I would tell people about my wife's vision, they would say, well at least she is alive. They were right but it is very different living with the changes and even more so if its happening to you. I challenge people to live and accomplish what my wife has by the Grace of God during these last 7 years with her limited vision. She is truly amazing!
On Aug 25 we went to see my wife's Obstetrician, she gave a thumbs up on the episiotomy, which was thought to be the point of entry for the infection, but she made a very discouraging tongue slip when she mentioned that she had spoken with the ophthalmologist and that he stated that he did not think my special girl would ever drive again. There goes the privacy act eh? Until you face not driving it is something easily taken for granted, but just consider how much your Independence would be affected.
Physiotherapy had many ups and downs peeking when my wife told the therapist upon completion of one session, that she immediately dreads the next one. He backed off some but still managed to get her knee to bend to 90 degrees by August 29. She started at 30. This was progress. The pain inflicted was because scar tissue had built up and needed to be slowly torn to get the knee to bend. Youch! Youch! Youch! My girl took 2 percocet to handle the pain of these agonising sessions, but she refused to quit.
I remember when I would tell people about my wife's vision, they would say, well at least she is alive. They were right but it is very different living with the changes and even more so if its happening to you. I challenge people to live and accomplish what my wife has by the Grace of God during these last 7 years with her limited vision. She is truly amazing!
On Aug 25 we went to see my wife's Obstetrician, she gave a thumbs up on the episiotomy, which was thought to be the point of entry for the infection, but she made a very discouraging tongue slip when she mentioned that she had spoken with the ophthalmologist and that he stated that he did not think my special girl would ever drive again. There goes the privacy act eh? Until you face not driving it is something easily taken for granted, but just consider how much your Independence would be affected.
Physiotherapy had many ups and downs peeking when my wife told the therapist upon completion of one session, that she immediately dreads the next one. He backed off some but still managed to get her knee to bend to 90 degrees by August 29. She started at 30. This was progress. The pain inflicted was because scar tissue had built up and needed to be slowly torn to get the knee to bend. Youch! Youch! Youch! My girl took 2 percocet to handle the pain of these agonising sessions, but she refused to quit.
My wife and I experience many highs and lows during this time as she was healing quickly but not fast enough for our human expectations. We continued to cry out to God in particular concerning my wife's vision. I remember while her awareness was improving she became more aware of her lack of vision and thought she was going blind. We requested another ophthalmologist appointment.
It was hard too watching life around us while we were mired in this bizarre experience.
Our home care had transitioned from my Mom and sisters family, to my mom living with us and my sister and wife's mother very frequently helping out. This was extremely helpful but awkward at times. It had now been almost 4 months of not much normal and we needed to find our new normal. Perhaps I was too pushy with that but I really wanted my girl to be the most she could be and I could see that if we were all there tending to her every need, it would take a long, long time. She needed to be pushed, she had little desire to regain normal around the house. We had lots of discussions about this but it was all so awkward. On the flip side and I don't think I realised it at the time, the experience had also really impacted those close to us and pushing them away was selfish. My girl didn't really have an opinion on much, but was highly sensitive to being talked about. The weight of decision making was on me. It was a very, very lonely time, probably for both of us. Our experiences had been oh so different. Temporarily absent was the normal husband and wife reliance on each other. By the end of August we ended up asking my mom to move back home, it was very emotional and difficult, she had cared so much for us and our kids, but we desperately needed to gain back some independence.
Also during this time was the added pressure to get back to work. In May when my wife was clinging to life, work had very kindly offered to put me on government sick leave for 17 weeks, and they would pay the difference. This was tremendous support. The thing was they did this when it was highly doubtful my wife would live. Now that she was recovering I was expected to start working. I just couldn't, I myself had been so depleted of energy. I too needed to heal. I agreed to meet with them at which point words were exchanged, they felt taken advantage of when I said I needed to be off longer and I said I would pay them back if that is what was at issue.
At the same time we were trying to determine what coverage my wife had and how we would meet our financial obligations. Its neat how God works, after all my fretting it was like he was saying "how about this" , will what I have planned work for you? My wife had not intended to go back to work after our first child, but she was convinced to by her employer, even after saying she was expecting again. She worked long enough to be eligible for maternity leave. Had she not there would not have been any possibility of insurance. Insurance however would not cover anything unless it seemed possible that the illness was pregnancy related. Since in the end the doctors notes suggested it was, my wife was eligible for disability insurance. Gods plan was pretty sufficient! Not long after finding that out I applied to assume my wife's remaining maternity leave, so that I could be off until 2006.
A highlight during the summer was my wife's brother flying in for a quick visit a day after his birthday. My girl baked him a cake.
To try and regain some slice of normal we went to church twice during that time. The songs they sang at that 1st service were I will never be the same again and Amazing Grace. So fitting, but oh so very emotional.
Isaiah 40:31
New International Version (NIV)
but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Amazing Grace - Christian Hymns with Lyrics
I Will Never Be The Same Again - Hillsong
"All I Need Is You" - Hillsong
No comments:
Post a Comment