As I reflected on how to relate to a hurting person I was also thinking of some of the things I have learned over the years while hurting. A verse that has been a source of strength is;
Philippians 4:8 (http://www.biblegateway.com)
New International Version (NIV)
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things
In the midst of your mire, when people are not responding to as you thought they should, when the grip of worry is nearing a stranglehold, when life does not seem fair, this is a verse that can lift one out of the mire. Other learning's;
Be aware; when struggling its common to look and hear through a lens of hurt. The receptors don't always receive the intended message properly, everything heard and seen can be scrutinised and most of it deemed hurtful when some of it really wasn't. Understand your position and how you are receiving things and don't be afraid to lay low or cling to only a few trusted people.
Forgive; There is only one pure and sure source of strength. People will let you down. This is where I have found that love and forgiveness are so intertwined. While we all try to show love and empathy, we are imperfect beings and our best intentions don't always come across as intended, this is where it is important for the hurting person to forgive.
Try not to stay stuck; When in the depths of despair it is easy to stay there, to get stuck as seems to be a tendency of mine. The wheels just keep spinning. Be intentional, be proactive and try to do something, be it exercise, read something encouraging, go with a friend for a coffee, etc. When I sit in the damp puddle of despair, I soon feel it's chilling grip and before I know it I can be stuck in the cold mud. Find a way out quickly.
Positive reminders; its been helpful for me to have encouraging verses sitting in the truck, good books laying around the house and a wife who reads me well.
Cling to those you can trust, to those who have your back and don't be surprised if they are few.
Fight and don't give up; while it can be frustrating to hear others who are on sure footing remind you that God is working through the challenge you are experiencing, it is true. Fight on with a determination as if to win a prize.
Loneliness; it may set in and it can be a very dark place, don't be afraid to feel it. People who you think should be more empathetic but are not, crowds continuing with life while you are struggling can all fuel loneliness.
Anger, depression and anxiety; don't be afraid to feel it and express it. I am a bottler and have had to find outlets. Friends, exercise and your relationship with God can all be great outlets. Don't be afraid to seek professional council either.
Manage your assets and liabilities; I have found that my greatest assets are also my greatest liabilities. For example Satan has been relentless in his efforts to use my sensitivity, great memory and perceptive ways to bring me down. I am someone who reads situations well and can see things quite clearly, but when you have a some what unclear future, this skill has to be managed well.
Freely express; This can be a double edged sword, while it is critically important to express ones feelings, it can also leave one feeling very raw and exposed. Pick your spots. At times I have been too open only to expose myself to more hurt. You may express more to a trusted person than to someone you don't know as well.
Proverbs 3:5-6 (http://www.biblegateway.com)
New International Version (NIV)
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
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