Identity crisis

Many of us face an identity crisis. Who are we, what defines who we are? I have been considering this of late and can see that my joy often swings to the tune of the events in my life. Should my joy be based on what I experience or in who I am as a person saved by God's grace? Often I wallow in the mire that is work stress, health stress & worry, my kids challenges with friends and school and so on and so forth. It creates a real yoyo effect when my joy is based on such fleeting things.
As a Christian I know that God want me to find my Joy in my identity, which is a sinner saved by Grace (his sacrifice for my sins). My identity is that I am a child of God, not that I am a cancer survivor, what kind of dad or husband I am. This is not who I am, but rather are my experiences, which should flow through the filter of my true identity.
By definition Joy is ; a source or cause of great happiness : something or someone that gives joy to someone
By definition Identity is; who someone is, the name of a person

: the qualities, beliefs, etc., that make a particular person or group different from others
Below is a link from a pro basket ball concerning his identity;
"My Identity Is In Christ, Not In Basketball" -Jeremy Lin

When my experiences flow through the filter of who I am in Christ and the vast array of things he offers me to face life's situations, should I not have a sense of peace and joy in any situation. Should I not feel peace knowing God is at my side, and joy because he is working out his purpose in me. These are questions I ask myself as I deal with anxiety and fleeting joy. Yes I should be thankful for my recent good health check, but should that define who I am? Should my performance at work define who I am? Sadly I find that it often does and I believe that I seldom experience the Joy that I should because of my identity crisis and what defines me v.s. what should define me.
Here is what the bible has to say about my identity (https://www.biblegateway.com);
2 Corinthians 5:17New (NIV)
¹⁷ Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!
Galatians 2:20 (NIV)
²⁰ I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
John 15:5 (NIV)
⁵ “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.
Galatians 3:26 (NIV)
²⁶ So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith,
Colossians 3:(NIV)
²³ Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,
1 Corinthians 6:19-20(NIV)
¹⁹ Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; ²⁰ you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.
These verses describe who I am in Christ and what God desires of me. The following verse describes how God wants me to approach him when I am in crisis; Ephesians 3:12New (NIV)
¹² In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.


TILL I MET YOU" by Laura Story
He Will Not Let Go" by Laura Story (with lyrics)
Perfect Peace - Laura Story (lyrics)
Learning My True Identity In Christ with Rick Warren

Health journery- Scott Nov 2015

It's been 4 years since I was diagnosed with non Hodgkin's lymphoma. It has been a journey of ups and downs. I learned that God is ever faithful, that Chemo is nasty, that friendships change, that its ok to speak openly to God about my anxiety's, that I am more prone to be anxious about what's next than to live in the moment and revel in the good things such as my remission and my wife's recent good health. The latter has been more of a struggle for me of late, with me being a person who is more apt to see the glass 1/2 empty than 1/2 full, more apt to worry than enjoy. At times this has robbed me of joy and in some sense, I think has displayed a rude attitude towards God's goodness to me.
Recently I heard of someone who passed away, he had entered treatment at the same time as me for the exact same cancer. I have heard of others who have also been less fortunate. This is something I experienced when my wife was ill as well and watched many carried out on the dreaded red gurney, while she was spared. Perhaps this has left me with some sort of guilt feeling, why has God spared us. What is his plan for us as he continues to give us the tools to persevere.
Resting in the palm of his hand is not easy for a control freak with anxiety tendencies, but I know that's what he wants. I know he want me to place the future in his capable hands. Some verses precious to me are;
Matthew 6:25-34New International Version (NIV)
Do Not Worry
²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^[a]?
²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Philippians 4:8New International Version (NIV)
⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
You raise me up - young Chinese boy and girl
Westlife - You Raise Me Up

Satan in your ear

Satan in your ear.....many of us experience this on a daily basis, his constant attack. It may come in the form of him whispering, that it's ok to think that negative, lustful, jealous, etc. thought. Or perhaps it's gone beyond a whisper in our ear and he has gotten through enough that we are actually listening to him.
Satan works hard to attack our thoughts hoping it will lead to actions on our part that are not God honouring. It always starts with a whisper in our ear. In today's world we don't so much identify Satan's attack or even sin for that matter for what they are. More often we look at someone's less than stellar performance as being stupid, and not the same sinful trap anyone of us could fall into. We don't remember that we are all part of a fallen broken world, prone to the same missteps.
As I am prone to do, I struggle with my thoughts. I suspect many of us do. Satan knows full well my experiences and personality and constantly barrages me with worry, fear and anxiety to attack me where there is an opening in my armour. He knows that while I have the gift of being analytical, that he can use that to his advantage to whisper in my ear, to say hey dude, you should worry about this, you should be angry at that situation or that person, you should gossip about them, you can't trust God with that, you need to take control, you need to worry about this......and before I know it I am overthinking something.
It doesn't take long and before I know it I have gone all the way down the slippery slope and am at the bottom and figuratively speaking covering in muck. Looking up I say, God how did I get here. He gently reminds me of my human weakness and is ready to scoop me up and offer me refuge if I will accept it. His word teaches us that he wants us to come to him with all our needs, "to cast all our anxiety on him because he cares for us". I can take comfort in that.


Psalm 46 New International Version (NIV)
 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
Ephesians 6:11New International Version (NIV)
Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.
1 Peter 5:7New International Version (NIV)

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

CAST ALL YOUR CARES by GARY OLIVER

casting all my anxiety on Him because He cares for me!

Kari Jobe - I Am Not Alone (Live)

I Surrender - Hillsong Live

Anxiety and depression

Anxiety and depression can be like a steep spiraling staircase into a dark place of despair and uncertainty. One can be rumbling down the road of life and all of a sudden be struck by these pesty demons that mess with our thoughts and moods.
What are the trigger points, it could be anything from some thing significant to something less or even something silly.
In my case I have always been a more tightly wound person and have always been more anxious and in need of control. Things like waterskiing where the driver has control did not thrill me, while I enjoyed dirt biking and three wheeling because I was in control.
Anxiety took a sharp turn in my life after my wife was very ill with flesh eating disease and near death. The after math involved a long recovery and many twists and turns. At one point my body screamed at me with the symptom of a skin crawling anxious feeling. Medication dulled the symptom and provided relief for a while but did not provide me with a longer term solution, such as how to deal with my emotions more effectively. Exercise proved to be a great thing to turn to as it provided a release point, however health and back issues have limited this.
Anxiety took another sharp turn in 2011 when  I was diagnosed with cancer. The uncertainty took over leaving me raging with anxiety. Again I turned to anxiety medication, but it backfired and left me more anxious. As it turned out that medication has a lifespan and then it begins to work the reverse making one more anxious. Exercise proved challenging with the chemo treatments and |I turned to a physiatrist who in his words "started to peel back the onion and help me feel". Talking things out and blogging proved very helpful along with eventually returning to exercise and weaning from medication.
Here I am now at a crossroads with anxiety yet again. What is the root cause? Certainly past trauma's of continued health challenges in our house are a culprit, but what triggered it. I have ongoing back challenges which are easy to connect with cancer, although the specialist stated that I can be assured that it is not because my last tests (CT scan) were very good. However the ongoing back issues combined with past traumas and work pressures including self imposed targets have allowed anxiety to rear its ugly head again. My analytical mind sometimes gets me in trouble. Anxiety (and depression) can really impact how ones feels physically and can put one in a hamster wheel type spin cycle. I try to fend it off by reading verses, praying, exercising as able, revisiting the physiatrist and going back on meds, but so far the fight is at a deadlock with each of us winning a few rounds and no one the winner. At times I feel like I am fighting a monster with a pebble, but I have to remind myself that God is on my side as he was in the story of David and Goliath.
Does my struggle make me weak, a Christian lacking in faith or does this make me a human who falls short and needs help. As the dark clouds roll in and anxiety and depression rain what seems like hail at times, how can I respond when my thoughts are consumed. I often turn to this verse;
Philippians 4:8New International Version (NIV)
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
From my experience with anxiety and depression, it is important to keep fighting, to not give in and to keep trying to think pure thoughts, keep things simple, try to stay in the moment, be thankful, talk out emotions, exercise if possible, pray, read the Psalms that are full of emotions and come from writers who appear to have struggled emotionally, let God know my feelings and frustrations and to keep my supporters a small group that I can trust.
Anxiety and depression can be like any other old injury that reoccurs. Just like an ankle once sprained can be easier to reinjure, emotional hurts I find can be similar. A healthy emotional state is hard to maintain in this broken world with so many pressures, but one that I believe God wants for all of us.


Perhaps my story will help someone else with a similar plight.


Let Go and Let God......easy to say, but not always easy to do.

All Scripture is God-breathed

Recently I read the following verses and have mulled over them many times over the last few years.
2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NIV) All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
I wonder if the modern church is honouring Gods word as it should…… do I accept it and follow it in faith or do I need to reduce it to what my human mind can comprehend....
There are many topics under fire now a days such as grace v.s. works, the marriage covenant, and sexual orientation, etc. It would appear that there is a tendency in today’s church to verse pick to suit the situation, to gloss over what are deemed secondary items, to refer to some of the bible as cultural and not applicable in today’s age and so on. What I keep asking myself is, if I consider certain scripture irrelevant to today, what am I reducing the bible to? At what point does the reduction stop? Does it undermine the bibles integrity? If I say that I am a follower of Christ and his word (bible) is my guide, how does a non-Christian respond if I reduce it to what I think makes sense in today’s world? I would think that my faith would not be very attractive if I imply that a portion of my guide book (road map) that was “God-breathed” is not applicable.
A wise man commented to me that it is critically important to hold the different scriptures in proper tension, i.e. grace vs works. I have found this to be critical to my bible study along with seeking Gods direction in prayer as I study his word, asking him to reveal to me his direction in my life through his “God-breathed word”.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not suggesting that there are not differences in today’s culture vs that of the bible times, but is the modern day church honouring God’s word as it should aspire to? Are we putting too much of his word in the bucket labelled “applicable in bible times only” and not enough in the bucket labelled “applicable for his children and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work”.

Suffering

We all have something in common, we have all suffered, some differently than others and some more than others, but none more than Jesus

Suffering has existed since the early days of creation, great people like Abraham and Sarah, Job, King David, Ruth, John the Baptist and Paul all experienced great suffering.

 Perspective, sometimes we need a perspective reset.

In a me first world we ask, why God, why do you let us suffer so.

 3 three points to consider when putting our sufferings into perspective;

1) We chose it. Mankind’s fall into sin as is detailed in Genesis 3 turned our back on God and invited the suffering we experience today. We are an undeserving people that chose against Gods perfect plan. We are deserving of hell.

Romans 5:12 (NIV) Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man (Adam), and death through sin, and in this way death came to all people, because all sinned.

Romans 6:23 (NIV) says; For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

2)He chose us, he made a way out of this mess by paying a steep price.

Luke 22:42-44 (NIV) “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.”

1 Peter 2:24 (NIV) “He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.”

John 3:16 (NIV) For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

3) God will ultimately triumph over suffering and we can share in that if we choose him.

Revelation 21:4 (NIV) He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (MSG) So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever.

 We have a God who loves us all dearly and has been pursuing us, his bride since the beginning of time. On this day do you choose him?

door slammed

A door slammed in my face. All of us have had this happen, opportunity presented itself and wham, the door closed and left us with feelings such as frustration, anger, discouragement and humiliation. 
Perhaps the door closure was similar to some of mine, promising job opportunities that were given to someone else. I have had this happen several times and it leaves me feeling defeated, like what is wrong with me, why is God closing these doors. In many of these cases my peers have encouraged me, complimenting me, but yet the doors still closes. Why?
In other cases health reasons have closed doors and opportunities, which again can leave me discouraged and depressed with questions of why me Lord. Health in our case has prevented us from opportunities in travel, career and simple day to day activities.
Recently I have been reading a book about vocation and it reminded me that all too often we become focused on a singular opportunity and when it closes, we feel defeat, hopeless, anger and so on. We fail though to look at the doors it opened, while one opportunity door closed, many more remain open. So in a way that closed door is simply a traffic sign pointing us to many other doors of opportunity. Instead of that one lost opportunity, we still have all these other ones presenting them selves. That closed door is directing us to opportunity, albeit that is not easy to see at the time.
As Christians we believe that God is in control and guiding our lives and yet when we don't get what we want we are disappointed and question his ways. Recently I prayed about opportunities at work and both doors slammed in my face leaving me feeling rejected, depressed and questioning my abilities. Yet as I reflect, I had prayed that God would make it obvious to me, that he would place me in a position that would best honour him, use my God given skills and in a position that would provide a good work life balance (given our health). So in hind site I can reflect saying God has certainly guided and while I may have thought they were good opportunities, I need to trust his big picture perspective. The alternative is the human perspective, which wants to focus on self and keeps reminding me of how much better I would have been for the opportunity and so on. They are 2 very different perspectives, but only one provides peace, however it is not easy to rest in Gods hands trusting him. Not easy, but critically important for the sake of a healthy perspective. Let Go and Let God.


I Surrender - Hillsong Live


Proverbs 3:5-6New International Version (NIV)

⁵ Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.

^{https://www.biblegateway.com}