Its a very hot August day and it doesn't seem a bit cooler here at
the hospital. Today with the exception of one very young dude, it is largely an
over 60 crowd in the cancer wing.
My head space of late has been decent, but
for sure I still have my worries. When I start worrying or fretting about things
I can't control, such as the cancer or any situation, in my mind I construct a
wall around me. Inside that space are healthy trusting in God type thoughts, and
outside is all the muck that I want to keep away from dwelling on. Ya it probably
sounds quirky, but it works for me, that is when I remember to practise it. So while it is
temping to wonder what will happen after the maintenance chemo ends next May,
that is outside the walls I have constructed in my mind, I must trust God and
when I do, I am much more at peace. In some senses the wall is like the dykes that we
recently saw out east that prevent ocean water from destroying farm land.
I wonder
today how some of these others are doing here in the cancer wing, are they heavy with worry, do they
have a faith? Does the young man here question a loving God? How do the
different ethnic backgrounds here process this stuff? How do they sense that their
God is helping them on their journey?
As I write this I am drawn to a
beautiful lady who just walked in bringing some lucky person a cool
beverage....haha that guy is me and the lady is my loving wife. She along with
our awesome kids have been a great support.
I just got my blood
work, now an hour wait until I get to see the specialist and receive my results.
I practise my mind control trusting God with what is out of my
control.
While waiting we chatted with a nice man who has advanced
prostate cancer, a cancer he has had since 2007. There is nothing they can do but
monitor him and try experimental drugs. I wonder how he has kept so positive. He
was such a gentle caring type.
Finally I get to see the specialist, she does her quick review of my blood work, say all looks well and gives me the green light to proceed with chemo tomorrow.
All things considered I have much to be grateful for...........
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