Am I like a cactus

What kinda Christian am I,  am I prickly like a cactus or am I warm and welcoming? Am I rule based or love based? What am I doing to sell Christianity as something that is appealing?

If I am quick to judge and point out a flaw, is that Christ like? In the bible Jesus loved on the tax collectors and on the prostitutes and shoved the rules in the face of those who put rules first and tried to corner him with them like say those Pharisee types.

Perhaps we should love first. Maybe if I love God with all my heart, following him and trying to live pure would be a by product. Maybe trying to abide by rule first and love latter isn't the way to go. It doesn't seem like that was Jesus example.

And Jesus said the greatest commandment is to ......Love
Matthew 22:36-40

New International Version (NIV)

³⁶ “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
³⁷ Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’^{[a] 38} This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’^{[b] 40} All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”