Today when chatting to my ever loving wife and explaining to her that I just feel more emotional after chemo, in this case even 2 weeks after, she commented that it sounds like PMS.
Now I have never experienced that so I will take my wife's word for it, but its not fun when you just don't quite feel yourself.
I am a competitive type and maybe a bit of a perfectionist, so it really bothers me when I am not myself during these times. Its hard to over hear my son saying to his friends, be careful around my dad, he just doesn't feel right or having my kids ask, so how do you feel dad, how many more weeks till you feel better. Obviously they are aware of my foul moods at "my time of the month". They know they have to tip toe around me. It bothers me when I don't have as good of control on my emotions, when I am more reactive and get angrier easier or get caught up in gossip easier and so on.........
The challenge for me is to improve a little bit each time so that I can reflect and say hey, I did a bit better this time after chemo than last time. Its called baby steps.
I have learned that I need to withdraw and be a bit more scarce after chemo, something that is hard to do when you have situations pop up that you have no or limited control over. There are times when I wish I could just hibernate for the chemo month and than come out smiling and happy, but perhaps that wouldn't expose me to the learning experiences......so we keep shuffling along with the goal to be a bit better each day, to learn from yesterday, but not to dwell on it, and to grasp the opportunities of tomorrow and make the most of them.
Signed, "a work in progress".
Mayo clinic chemo brain
Post-chemotherapy cognitive impairment
American cancer society, chemotherapyeffects/chemo-brain
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