The separate journeys that my wife and I travelled during her illness proved to be a challenge. How could we relate to each other? How could we confide in each other about our hurts? If I confided in someone else was I selling her out?
This is tuff stuff. To an extent we all walk separate journeys. How do we communicate with our loved ones about the challenges we face, even the everyday ones, how do we show empathy for the daily challenges our loved ones face.
My grand parents were separated from each other for a very long period of time (I believe 2 yrs) during world war 2, not even knowing if each other was alive. I can only imagine how tough this was. The romance movies would show a happy reunion, but seldom would we show the darker more challenging side. The side of sorting through each parties pain.
Our empathy for each other has been tested over and over again. In today`s world we speak of empathy quite candidly, but do we truly know what it is like to put ourselves in someone elses shoes? Is it possible for me to put myself in my wife's place or her having been in a choma to put herself in mine for that period when I cared for her? I have good vision, can I really understand how it is to be in her shoes with limited vision and face all the daily challenges she faces because of it?
Where there are people there is always hurt. None of us are perfect and highly emotional experiences such as what we experienced bring out peoples best and worst. I am guilty of this. People will try their darnest to say or do something nice only for it all to come out wrong. Many of us quite simply should keep it simple. Also where there are people there are opinions and while we all wanted what was best for my girl when she was sick, we didn`t always agree on the path to get there. Me being a highly convicted, big time sensitive guy only complicated this. Also where there are hurting Christians, you can be sure Satan also is. The spiritual warfare I felt was overwhelming. This has been even more overwhelming during my latest challenge with cancer.
We have learned over time and continue to learn through bumps in the road that communication and empathy are key in maintaining our relationship and supporting each other. They are in any relationship. Even aside from what we have experienced it is important that I show understanding concerning my wife's day and her concerning mine. Its a daily challenge.
So my question is do we communicate with our spouse or are we on separate journeys? Do we show empathy for what they experience in a day or only expect it?
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