Fear and anxiety, how they have gripped us

As I look back over our experiences it is not hard to see how Satan has worked his butt off to make sure that anxiety and fear grips us as much as is possible. It has impacted all 4 of us in some way.

My son expresses the need to have his mommy at least until he grows up. He talks about the terrible accident we were in 2 years ago. He writes at school that when he found out that his dad had cancer, he was scared, but had hope. He has incredible fears for his age. My daughter reacts differently, she is also younger. She expresses by wanting affection (a hug). She has some memories of her mother being sick, but they are not as vivid. They both easily remember Christmas 2010 when mommy was in the hospital again.

We have learned to be open with our kids, we don't want them to be surprised. We pray together about our struggles and about their fears. It provides a great sense of peace for them.

My wifes experiences have impacted how she views herself, her self esteem and her confidence. They have also left her vision impaired. I have been impacted as well, with a lack of confidence, a obsessive compulsive nature and a poor self esteem. In the moment we don't realize how life's circumstances impact us. I  have been reading a book about a man who lost his mother when he was 11 (The Anxious Christian by Rhett Smith). He had been a confident kid who began to stutter after his mom's passing. God has used him and his weakness in a powerful way. I look back at my youth and my dads passing and can see how anxiety has crept into my life and began to have a firm grip. In my 20's I started to lose my confidence and it showed in sports, mainly golf and baseball. To this day I am gripped with anxiety when I go to throw a ball or hit a golf ball. Experinces such as our health journeys have further eroded my confidence to the extent that I feel like I have a bruised heart, somedays I am depressed, I get anxious over things that I wouldn't have even thought about in the past. I am often concerned about what people think of me or that they are talking about me. I feel like my glass is full and I cannot handle any more. Life has a way of impacting us, but it can be for good. We have to battle on choosing to be victors and to fight for a good purpose.

We have a God who has a strong track record of working through weakness and even through sin. Jesus comes from a lineage that includes a murderer, an unfaithful man (King David), a prostitute (Rahab) and other sorted characters. The Psalms suggest Davids struggles emotionally, Paul struggled with an infirmity and Peter was quite a project.

1 Peter 5:7

New International Version (NIV)
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

A few great songs...........

Carrie Underwood with Vince Gill How Great thou Art

Carrie Underwood - How Great Thou Art

Our God (Is Greater) Chris Tomlin Passion Band

Carrie Underwood sings "Jesus Take The Wheel" at the Grand Ole Opry