I have felt resentment..........

<sub>I have been happy and excited about many things in life, but have also been frustrated at times. Things that have frustrated me are such as, a peer getting promoted ahead of me, being treated unfairly by others, my kids not listening, me not communicating effectively, people misunderstanding me, feeling like I am not being heard, health issues, not getting my way and so on. Many things in life are frustrating.

When you have to get a family to unite and agree on its path it can compound the frustrations and perhaps even lead to resentment.

Resentment definition (www.merriam-webster.com/)
: a feeling of indignant displeasure or persistent ill will at something regarded as a wrong, insult, or injury</sub>

_{Examples of RESENTMENT}

_{-She bore bitter feelings of resentment toward her ex-husband.
-He's filled with resentment at his boss.
-He expressed his resentment of the new policies.}

_{I have found resentment to be one of those space crowders in my heart, something that slowly crowds out the good. It could be a small frustration with something someone said, and if not dealt with it balloons into resentment. For me it is hard not to be resentful about the challenges we have faced in our house. It has been hard not to resent the emotional challenges we have faced. It has been hard not to resent some peoples responses to us. Do some people not know how to respond to my/our needs, do they not understand what we are going through? There have been some things that have been downright hard not to resent. I resented a past employer when after an 8mth absence from work to tend to my family after my wife's illness, I was told I would not be the same and my wage was reduced.}

_{Perhaps some of you out there resent your spouse for being overbearing or any number of things, your parents, your upbringing, etc. I am learning that it is important to deal with the frustrations before they take the form of resentment and before resentment turns to bitterness. It sounds easy, but ask yourself if you do, or is there a lingering frustration that could turn into a bitter resentment if not dealt with. Do you share this resentment with others but don't deal with it with the party you should be communicating with. Perhaps like me you have experienced frustrations but don't know how to deal with them, who to talk to or how to approach the person?}

_{On top of normal life stuff like not always agreeing, my wife and I have lived through some traumatic experiences and sometimes those experiences have been very different for us as individuals and then we have had our kids to think about too.}

_{My wife was severely traumatized by her experience in 2005 so much so that it took her 3 years to gain her physical and mental health. During the 1st year of her recovery, she had little emotion and her focus was her recovery. She did have 9 surgeries! When she entered the hospital she had a bond with our 17 mth old son, but our daughter was only 2 months old. Although she loved her dearly you can imagine that given the above explained recovery and challenges, that there could be some getting to know you challenges. It`s always easier to see the challenges from the outside, so as somewhat of a bystander I watched this relationship struggle. It was frustrating and for my wife too. She wanted a great relationship. Not only had their been a long separation at a critical bonding time (the 1st year), my wife and daughter are a lot alike and butt heads. We would talk about the relationship occasionally, but it wasn't until 2011 that after a heart to heart, the relationship really started to take off. I had been frustrated and not knowing how to deal with it had wrongly supressed my feelings and let this drag out and lead to resentment. My wife has worked vigorously at this friendship with our girl. I am very proud of them both.}

_{It`s not simple to face a loved one on touchy issues, especially when you do not see things the same, but perhaps that is why there are so many separations. Rather than face the issue, people choose to submerse themselves in work, etc. It`s a retreat from the challenges and an easy trap to fall into. I have done it.}

_{It`s taken 13 years for my wife and I to develop  our communication to where it is now and trust us it`s still a work in progress. We have had several health and other challenges that have been both an interruption to this development and a blessing. Having God in the middle of it has been the key.}

_{Some bible characters dealt with resentment}

_{Cane with Able in Genesis 4}

<sub>Esau with Jacob
Leah with Rachel
Many with Jesus

Hebrews 12:14-15
New International Version (NIV)
Warning and Encouragement
Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. 15 See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

A few nice songs</sub>

Matthew West - Forgiveness
 
Hillsong - From The Inside Out

Forgiveness and the Freedom of Letting go
A funny skit concerning a therapists response to someones challenges (nothing to do with above);

Bob Newhart - STOP IT!