Tuesday, 23 October 2012

Freinds showing Empathy vs Sympathy



Empathy definition (dictionary.com)
Understanding what someone else is feeling because you have experienced it yourself or can put yourself in their shoes

Sympathy definition (dictionary.com)
Acknowledging a person's emotional hardships and providing comfort and assurance.

The difference;
Empathy is the ability to mutually experience the thoughts, emotions, and direct experience of other people. It goes beyond sympathy, which is a feeling of care and understanding for the suffering of others. Both words have similar usage but are different in their emotional meaning.

In my own life I have realized that I have been longing for understanding, for empathy from many people. It`s a tall order to expect of others and a rare thing to find. Can someone my age who has not had cancer identify with me? Can someone who has not had flesh eating disease identify with my wife? Can we identify with a widow, the poor, the starving or a drug addict? To find someone who can empathize is to truly find someone who understands and can identify. Likely we all long for this. I have especially this past year, but realize now my unrealistic expectations. I expected this from far too many people. I am fortunate to have some close friends who have really shared my burden.

Jesus had empathy for us. Instead of being sympathetic, watching us struggle and feeling bad for our state, he acted and became one of us. He identified with us.

2 Corinthians 5:21
The Message (MSG)
How? you ask. In Christ. God put the wrong on him who never did anything wrong, so we could be put right with God

John 1:14
The Message (MSG)
The Word became flesh and blood, and moved into the neighborhood. We saw the glory with our own eyes, the one-of-a-kind glory, like Father, like Son, Generous inside and out, true from start to finish.

I spoke to a friend recently who shared my struggle with finding empathy. I know now that if I expect empathy its important for me to empathize with others regardless of their struggle. Whatever it is that they are struggling with is a big deal to that person and they need someone to journey with them. I need to empathize as Jesus did.

I expect that (future King) David had a friend who could empathize with him in Jonathan (current prince). Although as the current prince, Jonathan should have hated David who was anointed to be future King, he loved him as a brother instead.

1 Samuel 20:17
New International Version (NIV)
And Jonathan had David reaffirm his oath out of love for him, because he loved him as he loved himself.

Proverbs 18:24
New International Version (NIV)
One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Do I love others as myself? I can only do this with Christ’s love shining through me.

Mark 12:31
New International Version (NIV)
The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’There is no commandment greater than these.”
Songs about empathy and true freindship

"I Love You Anyway" Holly Starr

Jesus Messiah - Chris tomlin

Brandon Heath - The Light in Me - Lyrics

Hillsong- Saving Grace.mpg Worship&Praise Songs (Best Friends) Album

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