Part 11 - My little lady's health journey continued...

On Tuesday June 7,2005 we had another slight scare, my girl had a temperature in the morning but it was gone by noon. When I arrived at noon my girls physiotherapy session was done and the nurses wanted to take her outside. Apparently she indicated earlier in the day that this was one of her wishes. She was taken out in the stretcher chair and enjoyed her brief venture, the first she had been out of the depressing hospital basement. When told she was going in, she said good bye and waved to those who would listen or see. She was still high on the drugs and confused. She was funny though, she motioned that she wanted a big drink and was given an ice chip. They were concerned that she may get water in her lungs if she swallowed wrong. She tried to write but was too weak (on white board I purchased). It was very hot that June and not much different inside.  My lady mouthed that she was frustrated with the tracheotomy and that she could only whisper unless it was capped  To test her memory I asked her how our son says please, she wasn't sure at first and then she did the hand sign that we had taught him. She could be very bright at that point and at other times make no sense at all.

On Wednesday June 8 my lady was off the ventilator from 8am to 10am. Her tracheotomy was capped so she could speak from 12 to 10pm. She was communicating and was now able to talk about the kids (sometimes knowingly and sometimes confused). When I asked about the kids visiting, she said she did not feel she was ready to see them, but I know my girl and knew that this was the confusion talking. It was nice to see her progressing so well, but still hard to see responses like this. The specialist had highly recommended seeing the kids and that it should happen Friday AM. I kept asking her about it periodically. At one point my girl implied to the nurses that I need more to do. Now that sounded almost normal. My mom came in and reviewed the kid’s activities with my wife. She would comment but very matter a factly. There was no emotion, something that would take up to 3 years to regain.

Still I wondered what kind of life I would have with my wife. Was this thinking selfish, shouldn't I just be happy she was alive? I was for sure, but had no idea what new normal my girl would attain. During this time we were still being blessed with a daily provision of meals. Our lawn was being mowed and people would drop by to visit me. It was hard but we restricted visiting to family, perhaps we would do it differently next time, I don't know. I know it was painful to me to know that not every ones needs were being met. I am a people pleaser, but I felt that we needed to do what was better for my girl and she needed rest. I also feared that someone would leak what had happened to her. That needed to come from me at the right time.


God Is Able - Hillsong

I'm Singing- Kari Jobe with lyrics