when we don't know what to say what do we do??

When we don't know what to say what do we do? We all have people in our lives who have gone through something, perhaps its something horrendous, and we just don't have a clue what to say to them.
Perhaps some of us have also been that person, the person who has gone through something and feels like people just don't know what to say to them.

My wife and I have experienced both. When we go through a visitation line before a funeral, its hard to know what to say. Will we say the wrong thing? What do you say, how do you show compassion? I remember the funeral home experience when my dad died, some would come in very caring and compassionate, others were very nervous. A few said some ridiculous things, one I still remember to this day, almost 20 years later.  The point is, they were all there meaning well and that's what I have to try to remember. I have also learned that sometimes its best to keep it simple, whether its at a funeral visitation or elsewhere, to simply let the hurting person know you are praying for them.
We are all in this life together and its important to not just feel compassion, but to show it. If you are the hurting person like I have been and people you expect would show compassion and have empathy for your situation don't, it can leave you feeling abandoned, lonely and lost.
My girl and I have had people admit to us that they simply have not known what to say or do so they just have not. We have appreciated them saying that, because without that communication, it can feel like people are retracting from you like you are a leper.
Men in particular can be quite lousy at showing compassion, and I mean lousy to the point of pathetic, Me included. We can have a hard time communicating at the best of times unless its about sports, let alone come along side a friend in compassion.
I have learned that when it comes to being the receiver, I have to accept the persons well meaning better than I sometimes have. I have learned that I need to show empathy and compassion to others......silence in a situation that requires even a few words or a small act of kindness, can be deadly and leave a person feeling abandoned and like people are retracting from them.

Our saviour was the master example of compassion, as a Christian I should be exuding his love and compassion to others, both those close to me, and those around me.
Matthew 9:36

New International Version (NIV)

When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.

"Do You Feel Their Pain" COMPASSION!!!

What Love is This - Kari Jobe - Where I Find You

Your Love Never Fails -Chris Quilala / Jesus Culture